A friend recently said to me, “You aren’t the show…you’re the Venue.” Hearing this created a whole separate discussion between the two of us, so I’ll come back to this comment in a bit.
In December of 2016 I gave my first attempt at doing something that I’ve felt destined to do and the way I “did it” was to begin writing and speaking about a topic that is very personal to who I am as a person. I began sharing my journey, so that others who are traveling a similar path on this planet would receive a perspective that could support their journey.
A few years have passed since that decision and like many of us are prone to do…I considered my early efforts of publishing books and giving talks a failure. I was focused on an end game that didn’t align with what I wanted from this effort. See…when I have the opportunity to get into discussions about life (yours or mine), these discussions are the best minutes of my day. I’d love to have 3 or 4 of these discussions every day, because I feel that they are raw and authentic – and I grow by leaps and bounds from each of these discussions. This type of chat happens with a select group of people and they don’t happen as often as I would enjoy. Why? I think it’s partially due to the opinion that our life-system, our society, isn’t truly wired to support this kind of dialogue. If we show that vulnerability, we’re weak and if we don’t show it, we’re repressed or callous. All the while…anxiety, depression, obesity, drug and alcohol use…they’re all trending in an unhealthy way (across all age groups), so I’ve been focused on ways to expand the frequency of these discussions in my life and while all of this was swirling in my head, I took part in an “innovation strategy meeting” at work and had an idea kaboom!
My career affords me opportunities to engage in future forward planning sessions, which is a code word for: we get into Zoom rooms (#wantthisvirustogoaway) and learn about ways to innovate the services provided by my company. I was in a session with one of our consulting partners this morning and I heard this quote, “to truly innovate, you’ve got to fall in love with the problem”. Ooh – I loved that and if I’m going to innovate my desire to discuss life with others, what is the problem I am going to fall in love with? After all, I have fallen in love with a shit-ton of my problems, so this approach could be my personal salvation.
What problem do I love? I love the problem idea that becoming hyper self-aware and talking about our life’s apprehensions or challenges are generally taboo topics. I love that problem - because I want to talk about all of this stuff. I want to talk about how people can get a job if they’re miserable or unemployed. I want to talk to a sixty-year old man and support him with the understanding that he could easily have thirty plus years to go on this planet, so re-inventing himself is totally doable. I want to talk with the 13-year old girl who feels like giving up before she has even scraped the surface of how amazing her life could be. I’ll chat it up with the seventeen year-old young man trying to figure out if college makes sense or what the hell to do for a living if that illusionary yellow-bricked road doesn’t feel right, to him. I’ll most definitely converse with the parent who feels like they are screwing everything up, yet feels compelled to keep on keeping on…all the while they’re lost. I’m down for all of those chats.
Right now – from where I sit – so many people seem to feel that all of those topics are too personal and possibly too intimate to share. Maybe that’s the actual problem I love? Converting taboo to the norm. These topics mentioned above set the stage for discussions about content that I consider to be the beauty of life and yet, we seem to be keeping it all in? How’s that working for us?
I wonder what this world could be like if people had a place where dialogue was table stakes? A place where people came to listen and to learn and to share what they think could be the solution to someone else’s challenge or to their own. I wonder how the world would respond to a “club” that was created with Zoom meetings (#pandemic), a club where people could submit anonymous questions about what was on their minds and then they were able to listen to speakers (and share with each other) about these topics. We all talk, no one has to know who is in pain or confused, or curious and this club starts its impact on the world. As spring rolls around and the trees in Michigan come back to life, this club will begin meeting at a place… a real live place… where the furniture is comfortable, the fireplace (or bon-fires) are burning peacefully, the game tables are filled, and the butts in these seats feel comfortable enough to listen, to share, and to support each other. This club starts in Michigan and it pops up in city after city, because dialogue about the taboo becomes the norm and the norm makes us all feel so much better about our place on this planet.
As someone who has become a student of human behavior, I’m interested in a pivot. I used to think, as a Coach and Business Leader, that I was the show... “Come see me and your problems will go away”. I made an error. This isn’t true. I’m not the show, never was. You are the show and I’m simply the Venue where all of this dialogue begins and this dialogue could literally change your life.
We will come to this safe place, not an echo chamber, not a place of judgement. We come to this place to share thoughts, question beliefs, seek opinions, collect experiences, and learn and grow with each other. I’ve been fortunate to solve some of my deepest challenges while listening to others talk around a campfire, or while sitting with a friend, staring at trees (from a basement walkout) while sipping a bourbon and having dialogue.
I’m calling this place the Venue and the first discussion is going to take place in February. You’ll find details on Instagram @paperclipthinking and Facebook, so I’m hoping you’ll consider joining this innovative place for dialogue and learning.
If we all fall in love with the same problem, imagine what good we could do!
If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy one of my books, “Happiness is Over There” or “They All Went Inside” – both share stories that readers have deemed…inspiring. Both books share my passion for love, creative thought, introspection, and personal accountability (in very different ways) and proceeds from these sales are donated to The Amity Foundation of Dearborn and The Manistee County Child Advocacy Center (both care for families in need). Through my publishing business, Paperclip Thinking LLC, I offer speaking engagements on these topics and in select situations, I offer Family Coaching to those interested in becoming Paperclip Thinkers. You can buy books through my website www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com with any questions.
