Shepherds and Farmers and Writers - Oh my.

I want to make being curious cool again. My definition of curiosity assumes: the more we want to know something, the more we’re willing to read about something, and then we explore it, try it, and then – we feel more connected to the decision regarding whether we would want to continue learning and experiencing the very thing that tipped our curiosity. Makes sense?

Let me give you an example – FARMING. I loved the show Little House on the Prairie  – I just re-watched every episode of its 7-year run from the 70’s and 80’s. I was curious about farming because the show portrays smiles and heart-warming family moments tied to the simplicity of the small town and farming community lifestyle. The show juxtaposes those moments with the chaos, pain, and suffering from the Hollywood created depiction of what the world was like in the late 19th century from the perspective of Laura Ingalls-Wilder’s journals and books. I began my desire to farm by watching a show, then I took the next step of truly knowing what it would be like to farm – I got a community garden plot (actually, I got three of them). You heard me right, my foray into farming started with a church garden plot and I fully expect anyone who farms to begin cursing me right now. I deserve that.

Weeding, irrigating, planning, planting, weeding, more weeding, cultivating, harvesting, weeding – shit was insane. I read about it, explored it, tried it, and I felt way more connected to why I’m NOT interested in having my own farm. No joke, huge respect for those who do, because I pulled enough peppers, tomatoes, and potatoes to- only feed 5 people roughly three meals and that was only season 1 (my wife and mother-in-law are still practicing their farming skills on a part time basis).

All fun aside – I saw something, I tried something, I learned a ton, and I decided that I’m not willing to keep doing it. That’s the circle and power of curiosity and it can leads to new things and it can guide your decision making with real experiences.

How does this tie to being a Shepherd? As parents of children who are bombarded with idea after idea about being an entrepreneurs, social media influencers, making a million dollars a year within 4-years of high school (which too many Instagram Reels creators claim) – it’s tough to navigate the “what do I do with my life” questions, isn’t it? In contrast to those who are saying some of these insanely unrealistic timelines and topics for our children’s lives, I say we turn this around and provide our children time to slow down and truly experience things before they are forced into choosing their life long career path (at 17 or 18 years old). Giving time as a shepherd, not as an engineer. Parents have been trapped into believing that they are here to engineer (create and mold – I disagree). I think we are here to shepherd them, to guide them, and to give them space to be curious, like a shepherd does to their flock. Here is where I tie these thoughts together- parents need to inspire two things, that could ease their pain and the pain of their children. Support more curiosity about life and increase the accountability within their children’s lives.

If your child wants to be an entrepreneur - learn from an entrepreneur. Yes, they teach entrepreneurial studies in college now, which I find that hilarious, because only a small percentage of the college professors I’ve met have been entrepreneurs. Very few found a gap in the market that their business idea could fill and then found a way to create, incorporate, manage, sell, and deliver on the product or service that fills that gap in the market. In short – how can we teach something we ourselves have never done? It would be no different than me asking you to pay for my class on farming. This is where the shepherding parent style comes to life. Shepherd your future entrepreneur to meet with someone who has taken an idea and brought it to life, filled a gap in the market, and earned a living from that work – this will give them so much valuable information. And we could exchange entrepreneur with: doctor; lawyer; accountant; real-estate sales; car sales; nursing – you name it. Regardless of what your child wants to do to earn a living in their future, shepherd them to start a lemonade stand or meet with an actual entrepreneur. They can meet with a doctor, lawyer, accountant, HVAC tech, Carpenter, Construction Company owner and allow their curiosity to be satiated by those who have done what they want to do. And then shepherd them to try the work they learned about (volunteer, internship, summer job). If they explore it, and then experience how that work feels, they’ll make better decisions about their passion for being an entrepreneur or an accountant. The most important ingredient to this shepherding recipe, please hold them accountable for doing these steps, for being curious and being willing to explore.

I think a lack of curiosity coupled with a real fear of failure is a bad combination for their futures and it’s this combination that has led so many to the record levels of diagnosed anxiety by this up-and-coming generation. They report feeling that perfection is an attainable goal (it’s not), they feel that if they don’t achieve perfection then maybe the thing they were curious about isn’t worth trying. How do I know this? I ask them. I’ve met with 500+ high school and college students over the last two years and they all say something similar: that fear of failure is more real than ever.

Shepherds – how do we turn this into a positive? Let them fail, hold them accountable for getting up when they do, and empower them with love and care, so that they know that it is normal to want to be a farmer. If farming is their jam, then shepherd them to get three community garden plots, allow them to experience the farming of a 30-foot by 30-foot piece of this earth, feed 5 people a couple of meals, and then they might know that farming is for them or they might do what I did – retire from farming. And making decisions based on experience is the best version of okay.

We can let the farmers farm and I’m going to stick with writing.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times on this planet.

Much love- Trav

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Paperclip Thinking delivers career, life, and leadership advice (based on real life experiences). If you ever want to explore becoming a Paperclip Thinker, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) or if you want some good content – follow on Facebook and Instagram: @paperclipthinking

Sticks and Stones

It’s been 15 months since I engaged in my writing routine. That routine is simple because it involves paying close attention to the thoughts that race in my mind, dumping those thoughts in a journal and then, sometimes, one of those thoughts just feels right, so I write about it more formally and leave it on my blog for others to experience. I’ve been blessed with a mind that loves to be curious, so most weeks- something hits me hard enough to feel like sharing, but I haven’t felt like myself for a while.

 It’s not that I haven’t had ample thoughts over the last year, but I have lacked inspiration. My last post, February of 2023, spilled out the emotional experience of standing by and watching my boys face off with their time in East Lansing, Michigan as the campus was under lock down because of a shooter who callously and in the ultimate form of cowardice ended innocent lives then ended his own. Candidly, things hadn’t felt too inspirational following that experience. But this too shall pass, right?

March of 2023 kicked off another chaotic time, because the day-time career I’ve chosen deals with careers: the starting of; the changing of; the ending of. And I had to learn how to balance emotions because (along with my team) we impacted 327 careers due to the downturn of our economy and the struggled performance of our business. Things continued to feel less than inspirational. But this too shall pass, right?

The new year, 2024, began with the skip of a heartbeat, literally. And then it skipped again and again, and the diagnosis was Atrial Fibrillation, which led to some additional testing and after a few months and some echocardiograms, cardiac MRIs, new medicine, heartrate monitors, sleep apnea tests, a cardiac ablation surgery and one bad run in with a bread knife - we concluded that I’d also get the honor of learning about Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. HCM is a genetic heart disease and I have it. So…let’s keep the less than inspirational feelings rolling, right? Oh wait, this too shall pass.

Now – here’s the thought stream that led me to writing again. Remember a long time ago, people used to say that sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you. Remember that? They’re right. And here is a different outlook that I’ve decided to embrace.

It’s been 15 months since my last article, because I needed to learn several things about myself, so that I could wake – this morning – and remind people that no matter how fucked up life might feel - the sun still shines, trees are still beautiful, and life is an amazing adventure.

Impacting 327 lives taught me how to deliver horrible news with love and compassion. I know that receiving that news might not allow those who received it to feel that it was delivered with love and compassion, so I’d ask them to trust that it was, and to reflect on where they are now, and could that change they had forced upon them been the long-term betterment that their lives were ready for?

That skip of a heartbeat led me to incredible doctors and nurses, discussions with friends and family, and it gave me perspective on the number of people who have had tougher diagnosis and more brutal endings to their experiences than I have had, so I’ve learned gratitude from the very middle-aged feeling kick-off to 2024.

Sticks and stones may break your bones and names may never kill you, but sometimes words can stain the soul – just a bit - and if we let those stains multiply, life may feel darker than it needs to, so when I think about these last 15 months and what they have taught me – they taught me to embrace resilience (I’m resilient as hell and I trust you are too). I learned that I could choose love and optimism and I also learned that sometimes people need some time of their own to wrestle with (and to be pissed and scared) before we are ready to jump back into the beauty of “what could be”.

So, after all of these experiences – God did it again, He gave me opportunities to embrace and demonstrate all of the feelings we’re capable of – and for that (and for Him), I’m eternally grateful.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times of chaos.

Much love- Trav

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Paperclip Thinking delivers career, life, and leadership advice (based on real life experiences). If you ever want to explore becoming a Paperclip Thinker, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) or if you want some good content – follow on Facebook and Instagram: @paperclipthinking

Carefree in a Careful World

What does careful mean to you? And while you’re at it…what does carefree mean to you? I won’t try to understand what rolls around in your noggin when I ask these questions, I’ll let you sort that- but I will share why I’m asking. I like to spark thought in others, because that thought can lead to behavior change, and those behavior changes can lead to more peace and productivity in life.

 I’ve been reflecting on these two words and they’re super interesting when you dig into the philosophical differences of the two. Investing heavily in care, thought, and concern of other’s opinions is how I define careful. Investing in awareness, experiences, growth, and enjoyment – that’s how I define carefree.

Golf is an easy way for me to describe the last paragraph. When I’m being too careful, self-talk takes over. Don’t slice the ball, don’t hit the ball into the woods, don’t smack one into the lake. I focus and focus and focus on that self-talk and what happens? Yes- I end up exactly where I don’t want to be - walking through woods or splashing in lakes looking for golf balls.

Carefree on the golf course is different. Carefree occurs when my focus is invested in the discussions with the friends, the focus on the color of green in the early spring, the beauty of soaking in blue skies, the taste of cold-beer, and the love of being outside – those experiences are free of care. Well, what was I caring about, anyway? I tend to care about what other’s would think and I care for scores on scorecards, so other’s might think positively of my mad golf skills. When I make a shift- and my focus transcends the score card and those opinions of other painfully average golfers, that’s when the purity of the golf swing comes out. The effortlessness of the game rears its head and a long drive, the pressure to achieve a great approach, and an amazing putt is no longer my focus, yet they happen. They happen because I release that care, exchange it for a focus on the other beauty around me - and that shift from careful to carefree, leads me to the very result I wanted in the first place, doesn’t it?

If golf isn’t your jam- then we can apply this with work, too. If I am careful about making decisions that could impact my businesses and I overthink and delay action – the very result is one I don’t want. Conversely- when I’m thinking of the business not about the business and when I’m thinking about the people, the clients, the partnerships (not only the numbers, the wins, the profits) – my decision making is swift and results lead to the numbers, the wins, and the profits.

Being carefree moves a person to the results they want, and moves them there without anxiety, edge, and pressure.

We live in a world that has been conditioned to be careful, so I’m curious to learn about some of the behaviors you use to be carefree versus careful. And- does being carefree create more peace and productivity for you?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

Understanding.

It is Martin Luther King Jr. day and as I reflect about what this man stood for - I hear the word “understanding” over and over in my head. Could I seek to understand more? Could the journey toward a willingness to understand other perspectives lead to more love and compassion in our world?

Martin Luther King Jr.’s behaviors support that this man cared so deeply about humans loving and respecting one another that he was willing to dedicate his life (literally) to the cause. That level of care, passion, and interest are beyond intriguing, to me.

Continued reflection had me contemplate the behaviors Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wanted to eradicate and how he witnessed so much hate, anger, jealousy, fear, discontent, and a general sense of disgust between humans. Instead of some attempt at a broad stroke answer that could eradicate the fear that leads to the hate that leads to the destruction of life, I’m going to focus on me. One person, one set of behaviors, and I’ll invite you to do the same.

I can choose, every day, to be a different and more understanding version of myself and I believe that I could do more to support a more loving and peaceful world. I can ask more questions, I can have more dialogue, I can be willing to appreciate differences – not condemn them. I’m going to choose to be more “purposefully understanding” and this type of understanding and curiosity could ease some of the pain so many of us feel every day.

My love to Dr. King for the ultimate sacrifice he made, as a man, attempting to make our world a better place.

Thoughts?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

Gifts.

We receive them for birthdays, baptisms, during the holidays, for retirements and a host of other occasions, don’t we? Gifts play an interesting role in my life – how about yours? I’ve always enjoyed the planning that can come along with gift giving… thinking about what could be given to express appreciation, love – you know the drill.

November is the month of “giving thanks” in the United States and it is also the month when my wife and I celebrate our birthdays (November 24th for her – November 29th for me). This time of the year is always my favorite – not because of my birthday (or hers) – although birthdays are still crazy fun. It’s my favorite because there is a lifted spirit in the air and people seem to embrace the energy that comes with gratitude and giving – it’s infectious and uplifting.

So… as I think about gifts for my teammates at work, for my wife on her birthday, for my friends and family during the Christmas season – I also spent some time this week and thought about what I want for my 49th birthday. As I figured it out – I started to wonder if this gift idea might also be good for all of you, this year.

It’s the gift of turning the page. The gift of respecting the learnings from the past and embracing an intentional focus on today and the future. It’s a gift of self-love, so that we can become the truest versions of ourselves, which in turn creates such a good experience for those around us. I’ve been working, since 2008, to surrender to the reality that I’m doing the absolute best I can, while still enjoying my time on earth. I’m learning and growing daily – and I know you are too, even if you don’t feel it or believe as you read this. You all deserve love, honor, respect, care, compassion, adventure, peace, and the growth that comes from the daily work you put into your life.

The ultimate gift, from my perspective, is giving love to yourself, so that you can rain that beautiful energy on everyone and everything around you. That’s what I’m giving myself this year and for the rest of the years that I’m blessed to be on this planet. I wish the same for all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving and love is on its way to you now…

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

Inspiration.

It can become easy to lose yourself in the world we live in. It’s also been easy, for me, to forget the actions and the experiences that are at my core and the very things that create inspiration in my life. How do I “lose” myself? Well…I spend my time shuffling, moving, picking up, dropping off, traveling in, traveling out, meeting, presenting, watching, planning, thinking, caring, questioning. That’s how. Where do you spend most of your time, these days? How do you remain connected to what inspires you at a core level?

I’m a proponent of growth, evolution, care, compassion, intrigue, romance, and intimacy. When looking back, these are common denominators of the experiences and actions in my life that have created such positive energy. This energy has led to activity and that activity has led to a successful career, fatherhood, friendships, and deep relationships. Any time I find myself in a funk – when I take the time to reflect and look in the mirror - I find that I’m steering away from what inspires me. When I work to reconnect with my growth, my evolution, the care I offer others, my levels of compassion, my intrigue about people, places, and things, the romance in my life and the intimacy I connect to – this is when my adventures on this planet feel most exhilarating.

 Regardless of how busy we might become, how many children we choose to have, how much money we plan to earn, how many places we want to see on this planet … if those actions aren’t rooted in what inspires you, I think you’ll find that they can start to feel hollow. Give yourself time to breath, give yourself time to reflect, give yourself time to remember the things that inspired you to be you. Do. Those. Things.

A good friend told me this last night, “it’s the collision of passion, love, and intrigue that makes this life on Earth so mesmerizing” ...

Thoughts?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

Who are we doing this for?

It is odd to realize how often our behaviors are swayed by other people’s presence. Have you ever seen a child “wipe out” and they quickly look around to see if someone is there…then they cry? Or…a child wipes out and wants to cry and they look around to make sure they don’t cry? How about dancing – we might dance like maniacs in our living room, yet if someone knocks on our door…we might quickly stop, right? And in the world of work – does your heartbeat increase 10-fold when you find out that a pre-planned presentation for two people now includes your boss and three others?

I’ve been all these people at some point in my life, who hasn’t? What is it about these situations that have you act differently? I’ve looked back at my behaviors and they are tied to nervousness of judgement, insecurity, or the desperate attempt to feel “wanted & appreciated” at work or by the person or team you’re with. All those feelings have nothing to do with anyone else, but me, right? So how do I stop doing that?

 I remind myself that I’m living for me and you are living for you. If you fall and you want to cry, cry. If you fall and you don’t want to cry, then don’t – please don’t worry about what I might think of you, either way. If you love to dance – then dance and if someone knocks on the door…invite them in to dance with you or duck behind the couch and wait until then leave – just don’t let me impact that decision for you. And…be active on that presentation at work – your thoughts could have massive impact for your business.

Who is this “life” for? It’s for you, isn’t it? Go have fun with it and let us know how you feel - because I’m learning that life is more fun when I’m worrying less about what you might think of me.

Do you see that perspective differently?

If you enjoy posts like this one, please subscribe below to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy about leaving a comment or two! After all – life gets better with dialogue and you can’t have dialogue if we are always in agreement with each other, right?!? In addition - if you want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join us: email (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the community of discussion-clubbers.

The "why" and "how" behind The Venue

I haven’t posted on this blog since February 11, 2021 and here’s why - I’ve been focused, maybe pre-occupied is a better description, with sending books out into the world, attempting to expand my weekends to include branding my work into a Social Education Platform called the Divergent Thinking Academy for elementary, middle and high schools, and I’m still supporting my teams at TrueBlue with a job I love. Why do all of this? I’d love to say it was for the passion of the work, yet that would be a lie. I’ve been swept into the world of “have to” – you know… “I have to do this” or “I have to do that” because that’s what successful people do – they hustle. The problem is…all of the hustling and the pulling in different directions has created an interesting disconnect to something I hold near and dear to my heart - “having fun”. I love to write. I’m interested in supporting anyone who wants some guidance through life. And Paperclip Thinking and the pillars that make up this thinking continue to shape me in the coolest ways and remain a huge part of who I am and who I’m becoming. For five years I’ve been pre-occupied with “building a business” and my focus had been on growth and expansion. I thought this focus was the proper thing to do and I assumed that this multi-pronged focus would lead me down the path of recognition and money.

Reality check - some of this “business stuff” took the fun out of “why” I do what I do. When the fun & learning stops, I think it’s important to reflect and can be more important to pivot. I’m testing the hypothesis that if we remain focused on our “why” and we spend time supporting others, maybe the other stuff (growth, expansion, etc.) becomes a by-product for the future. I’m shifting my pre-occupation with “build and grow” to a more aligned value system of, “share and guide”. It’s a subtle shift, for me, yet the impact is huge on my well-being. I love a good discussion. I love vulnerable topics. I love the idea of people not feeling “alone” on this planet and I love sharing what I’ve learned on my life’s journey (so others might be able to experience their journey with some additional guidance and perspective and a few less fuck-ups). This is my focus and my “why”.

The “how” is connected to my ability to share and guide through a discussion club called “The Venue”. This discussion club meets every other Wednesday (you can DM me on Instagram, send me a note through FB Messenger, or you can email me to join The Venue’s community). These sessions are one hour long, cost you nothing, and include a mix of people from all corners of the country, ages 14+ are welcome and during our discussions I facilitate a couple of things: 1) I bring forward topics that all of us think about yet very few discuss on a regular basis; 2) our attendees share “ultimate life hacks” for career preparation, personal growth, and life transitions (i.e. learnings from moving from middle school to high school, deciding if college is or isn’t for you, selecting a major if you are in college, choosing a career that you will love and prosper doing, ways to remain balanced in our crazy world, how to build and leverage a network, methods for navigating anxiety and stress, how to change careers later in life…just to name a few of our recent topics); and 3) our community shares all of its knowledge and experiences in a safe environment. Some join to share and some join to listen…some do both. We use Zoom, so you can pop into a session from anywhere.

Please follow @paperclipthinking on Instagram and Facebook. These are two of the platforms where I share content most frequently and I’d be honored if you’d join us as we spread the message of this unique kind of “Paperclip Thinking” and how being divergent in thought can positively impact life.

Following each session of The Venue I’ll be sharing the takeaways from our group discussion on The Paperclip Thinking Blog. If you miss a session – don’t worry – you can subscribe to the blog and learn on your own time and at your own pace:  www.paperclipthinking.com/blog

I hope to hear from you soon and know that from here forward… I’ll be focused on, “changing the world…one discussion at a time”. I hope you’ll consider joining the discussion!

Contact: travis@paperclipthinking.com with any questions. Love y’all.

A Tale of Two Cities...I mean Two Worlds

Thought pre-occupation can be considered collateral damage of a hyper-active mind. I’ve had a hyper-active mind since I can remember and there are times when I get tired of the desire to think. The constant curiosity, the desire to understand where a thought comes from, what sparked it, who planted the seed for the thought…you get the drift. Looking back – this hyper-active mind has done some great things for me (career performance, book creation, business ideas, coaching style), yet if the thoughts are left to run wild, that’s where it becomes more damage than beauty. ‘Thoughts Gone Wild’ don’t get me anywhere, unless anywhere means late or sleepless nights.

Daydreaming moments or eerily quiet times late at night when the thought train leaves the station… sometimes it can be creative and peaceful, and sometimes it’s angst over, why? Why what? Why not me? Why me? Why anything or everything? Those thoughts are stifling, tiring, sometimes dramatic, silly, and most of the time they are anticipatively fabricated, which can be the most unproductive use of the mind.

I live in the mid-west and since mid-December the skies are gray, it’s cold, and as I eluded to…it’s mid-winter in Michigan, so being outside requires gear that one could use to climb Everest and I’m more of a shorts and flip-flops guy. Toss in what I hope to be the tail end of a global pandemic and we’ve got a nice recipe for some blah days, right? This “locked down” world, has given me plenty of time to think, so when the collateral beauty of my hyper-active mind shows up (the ability to find intriguing and contemplative thoughts that could add value to my life), I write. What was the most recent collateral beauty amongst my winter doldrums? The thought of two worlds. More succinctly, I’ve been feeling stretched between two worlds, so let me offer a glimpse into what these worlds feel like.

World #1 is a place where opinions matter, a place where pressure is self-imposed, a place where what you have defines who you are. A place where keeping up is as important as the breath that fills your lungs. A place where your spot on the planet is determined based on what you do for a living or the school you attended, or the neighborhood you choose to live. A place where relationships can lose their Moxy because the time to invest in one another (the watering of the relationship so to speak) is replaced with Netflix or school events or travel sports or Tik-Tok or Facebook or Instagram…or all of it. This world could grind a person into pulp, especially if you have been made aware (or experienced) World #2.

World #2 is a place where the value we have of ourselves is clearly placed in the front and center of our actions and it underpins choices. A place where learning about another person, truly understanding and listening, so we can absorb stories and experiences about who they are become the table stakes of living. These table stakes allow us to embrace different perspectives and provides us with understanding of another. This becomes the currency of life. A place where daily exercise, clean food, and deep sleep are the prerequisites of existence. A place where judgement, ego, guilt, shame, jealousy, and animosity are historical stories from another world. A tired time and it is no longer accepted. A place where creativity is akin to the sunrise, because it occurs every day. A place where gifts of skill vary widely and compliment the community. A place where hugs, love, care, enjoyment of activity, fearlessness, and a steady flow of abundance are everywhere.

I’ve experienced both worlds. And for reasons that would take up more words than I care to type this morning, I own the fact that I’ve chosen to spend more time in World #1 than I have in World #2. How about you? Is World #2 illusionary, utopian, or simply a fabrication of imagination?

My opinion: World #2 and World #1 aren’t that far apart, and they are separated by the simplest of gifts. Gifts that all of us carry inside ourselves. I think we’ve collectively been fed, as if we were starving animals, the notion that World #1 is reality and in order to visit World #2 you must work, persevere, grind (for 30+ years) and then “retire”, so we can experience what World #2 has to offer. And we were starving animals, so we took a bite of this philosophy and then another and another…and before we knew it, we were falsely nourished from the idea that World #1 is the prerequisite to World #2. What if that was the illusion all along?

We thought we were being nourished, with the running, the carting to and from, and the grinding, yet were we traveling farther and farther away from the World that seems more peaceful? I think World #1 is the illusion, and most seem to refer to it as reality. I am a believer that both worlds are true and I’m a believer in the power of that simple gift mentioned a few sentences ago…and that gift is choice. I’d grown tired of World #1, became openly curious about World #2, and still, found some fear while working to fully commit to the behaviors that open the door to a full-time residency in the place that I describe as World #2.

How come?

I think fear plants seeds that sound like this, “too much would change if you really embrace world #2”. “Too many people think you’re weird if you aspire for World #2.” “Your family would surely feel that you’ve lost it- if we gave up some of World #1 for World #2”. “Let’s be honest…you can’t possibly find a place that fits into the description you provided, can you?”

Funny how fear can lock the gate with what we might think is “reason”. Fear locks the gate and freedom of thought and action can open it. What could happen to our lives and to our perceived worlds if we lovingly thanked World #1 for its experiences, its teachings, and its energy and then we peacefully step into World #2?

Full circle moment- my thinking is more intense than some and it is one of my gifts. I’m grateful for the curiosity that had me explore World #2, the patience to learn while in World #1, and now I have access to the gift that all of us have access to…the power of “choice” regarding where I spend my time, my thoughts, and my actions. I’m choosing World #2.

Which world are you choosing to live in?

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy one of my books, “Happiness is Over There” or “They All Went Inside” – both share stories that readers have deemed…inspiring. You might even enjoy a visit to The Venue (a discussion club, for all). My books share a passion for love, creative thought, introspection, and personal accountability (in very different ways) and The Venue is a weekly group discussion created to support vulnerable dialogue, learning, and teaching. Proceeds from my books are donated to The Amity Foundation of Dearborn and The Manistee County Child Advocacy Center (both care for families in need). Learn about Paperclip Thinking:  https://linktr.ee/paperclipthinking

Parenting Puzzle

The global pandemic has owned the headline space since March and while we continue adjusting to keeping healthy, wearing masks, embracing restrictions, and virtually embracing from six feet…one thing has not slowed down…the opportunities to parent. The parent & child relationship has been thrust into unknown territory – no one has had to parent in a global pandemic since the early 1900’s, so we’re all flying blind on this one. I have three children (incoming freshman at Michigan State University, a junior in High School, and an eighth grader), so as I reflect back on this spring/summer, we’ve continued to parent as best we can during these crazy times. Even though this pandemic hasn’t made things easy (talk track in our house starting March 12th …Child: “Can we go out?” – Parent: “No…we’re sheltering in place!”- Child: “This sucks!” – Parent: “Thanks for that input, good chat.”), it has afforded me the opportunity to reflect on so many things, and one of the things I’ve reflected on is my incessant desire to control things that just aren’t built for control. As a method to curtail my controlling nature, I like to compare my life to a river (when I let things flow it can feel effortless and when I jump off the raft and try to control the flow of the river, swimming upstream, life becomes more challenging and exhausting). The more I parent during COVID-19, I have shifted metaphors. Metaphors are my spirit animal, so bear with me on this one. Life feels like a puzzle more than a river because I feel like I’m playing a part in building something, not simply coasting down the river. I am building my own resilience, building the ability to be compassionate and this “puzzle” isn’t the kind of puzzle that gives a picture of what the puzzle is intended to look like when completed…this COVID-19 parenting puzzle is going to give you NO sign of what the end game looks like and you only receive a couple pieces per week. Our oldest graduates from Dearborn High School on Tuesday, July 14th. My wife and I will walk with him (followed closely by a minivan with his brother, sister, and grandparents) and together, and mostly six feet apart, we’ll celebrate the latest chapter of his journey or maybe I’ll begin calling graduation his next “puzzle piece”.

Immediately following graduation we’ll pivot toward his adventures at Michigan State University. Dorm rooms, social distancing, on-line class schedules, “hybrid learning”, and another set of pieces to this puzzle and we’ll do what we can to support him in building a beautiful picture.

Puzzles may take time, puzzles may feel complex, puzzles may create some frustration AND…puzzles can be rewarding, they can display a beautiful design when complete, and if they break apart, they can be rebuilt. Most importantly for me, I recognized that all of the pieces of a puzzle are different. Different curves and corners are required to finish that puzzle and it takes all of these differences in order to build something beautiful, so as a parent…I’m working to embrace the differences that my children bring to this opportunity, not control them in any way, shape, or form.

As my wife and I continue to parent our children through these unique times, let’s remember that their ideas, their perspectives, and their interests may be very different than ours, and that’s a good thing. It is the differences that can make our families such beautiful things. I can’t control what the pieces look like, I can’t control when the pieces are given to us, yet I can choose to keep a safe distance and support my children in building the best looking puzzle possible, with the pieces they are given.  

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy one of my books, “Happiness is Over There” or “They All Went Inside” – both share stories that readers have deemed…inspiring.  Both books share my passion for love, creative thought, introspection, and personal accountability (in very different ways) and proceeds from these sales are donated to The Amity Foundation of Dearborn and The Manistee County Child Advocacy Center (both care for families in need). Through my publishing business, Paperclip Thinking LLC, I offer speaking engagements on these topics and in select situations, I offer Family Coaching to those interested in becoming Paperclip Thinkers. You can buy books through my website www.paperclipthinking.com/buymybooks or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com with any questions.

Surrender is an interesting word...isn't it?

I thought 2008 – in the midst of a global recession - was going to shape up to be one of the most challenging times of my life (present and future). After all – millions of homes were going into foreclosure, people lost work, banks were being bailed out, and the stock market was in tough shape. It was a nightmare (or so I thought).

Flash forward to 2020 and perspectives change. I will always remember: COVID-19, pandemic, case counts, death counts, shelter in place, essential services, businesses closed, 25 million people out of work, an economy in a free fall, and a government that was built on ego and looking good – trying their best to navigate a country through the midst of this unprecedented time.

Now might be an odd time to bring up the word surrender, but I like odd, so here we go. And…before the traditional definition of the word “surrender” has you twist into using phrases like, “snowflake”, “weak”, or “giving up”, please read on with an open mind and heart.

I was conditioned to believe that surrender is a form of weakness. I didn’t surrender on the field of competition, I didn’t surrender to depression, I didn’t surrender to financial collapse, I have friends who have served honorably in the military and they might say they didn’t surrender on the field of battle, and if you surrender in the corporate world, your career might be in jeopardy. It’s easy to see how using the word surrender could have a negative connotation.

Every year I create a new journal.  A standing Christmas gift from my Mother and Father. Same style, same logo stamped on the lower right corner (the year and my initials) and during the first week of January I write an intention for the year.  I use this exercise as a way to manifest the good and the beauty and the abundance for the upcoming year that I intend for the universe to provide.

This year’s intention: January 2020 – “A year rooted in becoming a listener, fully focused on understanding.  A year rooted in un-inviting fear (not welcome here) and a year rooted in honesty.  The beginning of a full surrender to the peace of life and to the roll I play on this planet, and to the God I believe in and all of the energy and love he has created for us.”

As I wrote this intention, I used the term surrender without thinking about the broader meaning. I reflect on it almost every day, and as I reflected on it this morning- I could not have imagined how perfectly aligned it is, for me, during this time. I have a new belief that surrender is about letting go, not giving up. It’s letting go of expectations, preconceived plans, and the fear that can come during change. Surrendering to my faith and to the faith of the people of this world. Surrendering to the belief that we do have the ability to grow from this, to learn from this, and to prosper in this new normal. This time has reinforced my love and faith in so many areas.  I’m surrendering to the peace of life, whatever that may look like. Surrender isn’t for the weak – it’s a way to embrace peace. 

I invite you to consider and I send Love to all of you.

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy one of my books, “Happiness is Over There” or “They All Went Inside” – both share stories that readers have deemed…inspiring.  Both books share my passion for love, creative thought, introspection, and personal accountability (in very different ways) and through Paperclip Thinking LLC, I provide speaking engagements on these topics and in select situations, I offer group or individual sessions for those interested in becoming Paperclip Thinkers. You can buy books through my website  www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery or set up speaking engagements or in-person & on-line sessions.

Life's center gear...

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy a copy of my book, “Happiness is Over There” – which is a personal memoir detailing the stories, learnings, and exercises I used to shift my life from dark and chaotic to light and peaceful.  You can buy a signed copy at www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery.

It’s June in Michigan, which is one of my favorite times of the year.  The leaves have returned to the trees, the grass is as green as it will be all year, the flowers are blooming, the day time temperatures are in the low 70’s and the evenings require a sweatshirt.  Vacations have been scheduled, another school year is wrapping, and I can’t help but notice how each of these pieces fit together like a watch and its gears.  If you have seen the internal workings of a clock or watch, you might agree that it is quite a beautiful dance.  The gears spin, turning each other, and consequently moving the hands that share our perception of time with the world.  Each watch has a center gear, much like cars have a power train, or bikes have their crank shaft.  These “center gears” all receive energy and then they use that energy to turn everything around them.  As long as that center gear is in aligned and working, time seems to spin effortlessly.

Now…one wrong twist of that center gear and everything risks being thrown into chaos.

I like to compare my life to the nature that I live in and the watch I referenced above.  Our planet has its own center gear and it turns the tides, the seasons, and literally spins our planet around and around.  Our lives have a center gear, too, and it is my opinion that these center gears are critical to one’s ability to experience peace, productivity, opulence, wealth, and an overall happiness.

What is that part of you that you might consider the center gear? And…how many other gears does your center gear turn?  I have a work gear, a parenting gear, a philosophical gear, and an “out in nature gear”.  I have an exercise gear, a writing gear, a spouse gear, a relationship gear – and that about sums up what makes me tick.  Each one of these gears represents a facet of my life, so what turns all of my gears?  My center gear is my relationship gear, soulful connections as I like to call them.  If I am surrounded by soulful relationships, those types of relationships where conversations flow effortlessly, the topics of discussion are wide and varied, and the relationships are loose and free – then my other gears: work, exercise, parenting, etc. all seem to flow and produce amazing results.  If I don’t work on my relationships and choose wisely with whom I am spending my time, then life gets a little crazy.

If I choose to surround myself with unhealthy relationships, everything runs the risk of falling out of place.  How does your center gear affect your life?  Ponder on it, note those gears, and ensure you take care of that center gear, because it will support your life being aligned to the core of who you are and that is more powerful than most of us realize.

Cheers to all of you and your continued journeys…

Step-Through NOT Breakthrough

Let’s rename breakthroughs and call them step-throughs!  If you are anything like me, you’ve experienced tons of these beautiful moments in life, so I’m curious to understand why we continue to call them breakthroughs?

The idea of breaking something feels accidental, unintentional, and the idea also feels heavy and frustrating- I don’t like to break things.  I have broken things in my home, broken things in stores, and I’ve even broken relationships and partnerships, and none of the “breaking” felt good, so during a recent coaching conversation, I made the decision to refrain from using breakthroughs and I’m re-purposing them to step-throughs, here’s why:

Step-throughs feel purpose driven and in my experiences, these moments of stepping through to a new way of thinking can be frequent and they are rooted in action.  Step throughs are a choice!  Inviting someone to share in a powerful conversation, bringing a new idea to a team, or coming to an agreement on a new way to solve a business or life challenge are all examples of ways to generate a step-through.

What sits on the other side of a step-through?

I continue to realize balance, health, innovation, revenue, income and fun through my step-throughs and the most beautiful part is that everyone has access to this way of thinking & living, so let’s choose to step-through versus breakthrough, together.