Carefree in a Careful World

What does careful mean to you? And while you’re at it…what does carefree mean to you? I won’t try to understand what rolls around in your noggin when I ask these questions, I’ll let you sort that- but I will share why I’m asking. I like to spark thought in others, because that thought can lead to behavior change, and those behavior changes can lead to more peace and productivity in life.

 I’ve been reflecting on these two words and they’re super interesting when you dig into the philosophical differences of the two. Investing heavily in care, thought, and concern of other’s opinions is how I define careful. Investing in awareness, experiences, growth, and enjoyment – that’s how I define carefree.

Golf is an easy way for me to describe the last paragraph. When I’m being too careful, self-talk takes over. Don’t slice the ball, don’t hit the ball into the woods, don’t smack one into the lake. I focus and focus and focus on that self-talk and what happens? Yes- I end up exactly where I don’t want to be - walking through woods or splashing in lakes looking for golf balls.

Carefree on the golf course is different. Carefree occurs when my focus is invested in the discussions with the friends, the focus on the color of green in the early spring, the beauty of soaking in blue skies, the taste of cold-beer, and the love of being outside – those experiences are free of care. Well, what was I caring about, anyway? I tend to care about what other’s would think and I care for scores on scorecards, so other’s might think positively of my mad golf skills. When I make a shift- and my focus transcends the score card and those opinions of other painfully average golfers, that’s when the purity of the golf swing comes out. The effortlessness of the game rears its head and a long drive, the pressure to achieve a great approach, and an amazing putt is no longer my focus, yet they happen. They happen because I release that care, exchange it for a focus on the other beauty around me - and that shift from careful to carefree, leads me to the very result I wanted in the first place, doesn’t it?

If golf isn’t your jam- then we can apply this with work, too. If I am careful about making decisions that could impact my businesses and I overthink and delay action – the very result is one I don’t want. Conversely- when I’m thinking of the business not about the business and when I’m thinking about the people, the clients, the partnerships (not only the numbers, the wins, the profits) – my decision making is swift and results lead to the numbers, the wins, and the profits.

Being carefree moves a person to the results they want, and moves them there without anxiety, edge, and pressure.

We live in a world that has been conditioned to be careful, so I’m curious to learn about some of the behaviors you use to be carefree versus careful. And- does being carefree create more peace and productivity for you?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

What have you seen (in the midst of a pandemic)?

We’ve been under “shelter in place” since March 12, 2020, so for 9 weeks I’ve been writing in my journal about this experience and working to document and articulate what was happening in the world around me. How was this impacting me? My family? Those I have closest access to?  In total, I created 22 journal entries – some were long and emotional – some were short and sweet – all of them fell into the bucket of “unprecedented”.

This pandemic is an experience that none of us planned for and similar to many of the unforeseen experiences of life, they tend to sneak up and then Tsunami like…they are “everywhere” – news channels, social media, school announcements, emails…everywhere! My reality through this experience was (and is) tied to my perceptions and perspectives, so from my perspective, I was able to find some beauty within this whirlwind. Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying…It wasn’t constant beauty. I had a family member impacted by this virus, I knew people who lost family members due to this virus, and I’m sure everyone knows someone who is now unemployed because of this virus. None of this would be fair to label as beauty, yet, through all of this- I still saw (and see) beauty. Our adventure on this planet took a turn. These moments, these experiences, these highs and lows…this is the present (and I’m choosing to live here and now).

What did I see?  Where was this beauty? To start – I reconnected to something very deep and very spiritual. That inspiration led to the creation of two characters (Mumma & Little One) for the book, “They All Went Inside”, and this story is in the hands of hundreds of people now and it tells one perspective about this pandemic and I’m hoping to have it in as many hands as possible. Hands willing and able to listen and consider these characters teachings.

Then - my wife and I worked on our house and our finances… we re-connected to the concept of needs versus wants and we shared these experiences with our children. Powerful lessons for all of us. We also mourned the loss and celebrated the life of a friend who passed during this time and my wife and I supported more teaching with our children: sharing love, and openly discussing what this experience could be like for our friends and their family. This dialogue is beauty!

I watched, read, and viewed a level of divisiveness that was also unprecedented. Topics like vaccinations, social distancing, conspiracy theories, political support, economic recovery, viral disaster planning, executive orders, free speech, and immune systems took on a life of their own and brought out, from my perspective, some of the worst of our human condition. Through this madness, our family continued to have dialogue about these topics and that was something that hadn’t been happening in my family (as frequently) pre-COVID. Again, more beauty.

I look forward to Michigan and the rest of the U.S. reopening, moving forward, and healing. I ask everyone to consider remaining in your heart during these times. Remain close to the things you love, the places you love, the people you love. Don’t allow the hustle and bustle to resume, unfettered, and allow this experience to become a distant memory. I pray to the God I believe in, the God who inspires me, that we all remember the power of dialogue: truly seeking to understand another’s perspective and using that perspective to learn and to grow (even if it means we completely disagree with the person we’re learning from).

These are the experiences that I considered beautiful during a global pandemic. If you’re willing, please share what you learned in the comments section, so I might be able to gather additional perspectives from those of you who see the world differently.

Love to all of you- Travis

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy one of my books, “Happiness is Over There” or “They All Went Inside” – both share stories that readers have deemed…inspiring.  Both books share my passion for love, creative thought, introspection, and personal accountability (in very different ways) and proceeds from these sales are donated to The Amity Foundation of Dearborn and The Manistee County Child Advocacy Center (both care for families in need). Through my publishing business, Paperclip Thinking LLC, I offer speaking engagements on these topics and in select situations, I offer Career and Family Coaching to those interested in becoming Paperclip Thinkers. You can buy books through my website www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com with any questions.

Story #1 (2020)- A recipe I've chosen

Story #1 – A recipe I’ve chosen (January 22, 2020)

Slow down, simplify, and make decisions rooted in peace and enjoyment.  Look for a partner who is interested in a similar path.  Treat the body with love and respect and treat the mind just the same.  Forgive ill decisions of the past and remain focused on doing and being the very things you enjoy.  When fear approaches, learn from it, please don’t run from it.  Fear can be an amazing teacher in such an indirect way.  Align to those who inspire you and ensure that you work to inspire others on a daily basis.  Inspiration can come in the smallest of gestures, so please don’t feel the need to be grand with your inspiration, after all, inspiration will spread and grow, so even the smallest of acts will become monumental over the long term.  Love all of the people you encounter.  You don’t have to agree with everyone, you don’t have to enjoy everyone, yet we can LOVE everyone.  Be respectful of money, have fun with it, don’t be a slave to it or allow it a place on any type of mental pedestal.  Ask questions of people, learn how they move through this visit on earth.  See places that are different from your daily routine.  They don’t have to be faraway lands, they could be the park you’ve never visited, the neighborhood you’ve never explored.  Continue to (or start) enjoying each moment for what it was intended for – growth & love.  Be the storyteller you want to be.  Connect with more people and share the recipes that you have collected that make life inspiring and fun versus anxiety filled and frustrating.  We are all on the planet, together, and sharing could impact so many people.  Embrace the masses and fear not the judgement that may come.  It’s okay for those to judge and those judging may be hurting too, which is a powerful reason to choose to see them through God’s eyes.  Love.  Be close to God, to his energy, to his peace.  Talk to him, he’ll talk back in the most beautiful ways.  Know that our lives were chosen, so there is nothing to be concerned about.  Love, listen, learn, play, repeat.

This is my recipe for 2020 and beyond.  What’s yours?

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy a copy of my book, “Happiness is Over There” – which is a personal memoir detailing the stories, learnings, and exercises I used to shift my life from dark and chaotic to a life of light and productivity.  Through Paperclip Thinking LLC, I also support group and individual coaching sessions as well as book talks for groups of 15-20.  You can buy a signed copy at www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery or set up coaching and group talks/sessions.

Action, Love, Vulnerability, Transparency, and Resilience

I wrote this as an invocation for the Dearborn Rotary Club.  Thanks for the inspiration Candy Hipple & Lynne Hughes  and for becoming partners in a journey to support shifting perspectives on how the world is viewed.

Action, Love, Vulnerability, Transparency, and Resilience.

Action is energy that powers growth, learning, and experiences- How many ways could we “BE” ACTIVE?

Love is the energy that binds each of us- How many ways could we “BE” LOVING?

Vulnerability is the courage to speak and act with humility about topics that you may feel only impact a few, when in fact, they impact the masses. – How many ways could we “BE” VULNERABLE?

Transparency is the willingness to open your life’s book and speak from the experiences you have had and how they make you feel, so others may benefit. – How many ways could we “BE” TRANSPARENT?

Resilience is the energy that supports ACTION when Love, Vulnerability, and Transparency all seem to fall on deaf ears. – How many ways could we “BE” RESILIENT?

School Shootings, Unemployment, Missing Children, Political Adversity, Economic Challenges… we have so many reasons to consider giving up on the world.  Today, I stand here with the intention of reminding everyone I can reach that beauty still exists: the friends we have around us; the students I encounter daily and their energy for life; the support we are blessed to offer the world; the 49 degrees in the month of February (in Michigan); and the ability for each of us to choose Action, Love, Vulnerability, Transparency, and Resilience, daily!