Will you?

Will you?

I know you can, but will you? Will you find a way to quiet that noise? We all have that noise and it plays at different volumes. Someone speaks and that noise starts to roll and rumble. The mind asks questions while they speak and those questions clink and clank like the clock inside of an old watchtower, don’t they?

Could you?

Could we invite them to speak, invite them with questions, spark dialogue that is all about them? If we did, we’d no longer shackle ourselves to the desire to listen to respond versus listening to hear and learn. Could we curb that desire to be heard, which prevents the receiving of the best gift? Could we prepare and commit to welcome the gift that questions wrap for us?

Should you?

Should you be willing and able to open your ears through your heart and feel what they say when your questions are laid at their feet? No “should” required – as the word should is rooted in guilt and shame. This is a choice and it’s one worth the making.

Do you?

Do you already focus on observation? Good. For most of us, that superpower is one we’ve been burying for decades. A superpower that when unleashed, digs a foundation of truth and forms relationships comprised of depth and compassion and understanding. As we observe – do you see it? Do you see the information laced within their answers to our questions? Oh my, that noise they make wasn’t really what we expected. These answers they provide might not have been for us in the first place. Your questions give them an opportunity to share, to decompress, to calm themselves and most importantly, to be heard. This gift is precious, and your observation and listening gives a gift in return. The gift of gifts.

When will you?

It will feel difficult, at first, and I know there may be some doubt but of course you will. When you find a time and ask a question, and you have no interest in providing an answer or comment to your question, then you’re to listening and when you do - they’ll tell you (and show you) everything you’ve ever needed.

Did you?

 Did you think that our noise is what creates wisdom? It’s not. Listening is wisdom’s precursor and it’s a beautiful gift for you and for those whose words are laid at your feet.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times on this planet.

Much love- Trav

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The Why Hunter.

He was detailed and methodical.

 He combed the trails, the brush, the marsh, and the bogs. He looked everywhere for something that may never be found. The experiences of life caused him to question. Other’s behaviors caused him to question and caused confusion. Behaviors of others ran through his head like chards of glass when shattered. This hunter was unique, as he was looking for reasons, and reasons are rarely visible.

He was persistent and curious.

He called these behaviors “the whys”. These whys were elusive and beautifully camouflaged. These whys were hidden in a way that made them impossible to find and he continued to hunt.

He was lost and didn’t know it.

Searching and hunting for answers to questions had an unintended effect. While he searched for the why in everyone else’s behavior, he forgot the most important why…his own.

His why was at every turn. His hunt, his adventures – always being on the move became the ultimate distraction and this constant movement caused him to miss his why, day in and day out.

 “Look around”, they whispered, but he just couldn’t hear them. His why was never hidden. Only others’ whys were, yet he kept searching and he felt confident that when he found their why, he would find his. The hunter’s why was in front of him all along – in the beauty of the trails, the strength of the brush, the majesty of the marsh, and in the ominous power of the bog – if he could only see it.

He began to listen, and he rested.

Unable to find the other whys, he grew tired and decided to sit. Once he sat, he could listen, he could observe, and he could find. It was in his quiet that he noticed the sounds, the smells, the tastes, and the energy. His why shined brightly. It was quiet observation and thoughtful sentiment, yet he could never find his why while looking for others.

The Why Hunter laid down his desire for the understanding of everyone else’s why and he began to focus on his.

This made Him smile – and by Him, we mean God.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times on this planet.

Much love- Trav

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. If you want some good content – follow on Facebook and Instagram: @paperclipthinking

Carefree in a Careful World

What does careful mean to you? And while you’re at it…what does carefree mean to you? I won’t try to understand what rolls around in your noggin when I ask these questions, I’ll let you sort that- but I will share why I’m asking. I like to spark thought in others, because that thought can lead to behavior change, and those behavior changes can lead to more peace and productivity in life.

 I’ve been reflecting on these two words and they’re super interesting when you dig into the philosophical differences of the two. Investing heavily in care, thought, and concern of other’s opinions is how I define careful. Investing in awareness, experiences, growth, and enjoyment – that’s how I define carefree.

Golf is an easy way for me to describe the last paragraph. When I’m being too careful, self-talk takes over. Don’t slice the ball, don’t hit the ball into the woods, don’t smack one into the lake. I focus and focus and focus on that self-talk and what happens? Yes- I end up exactly where I don’t want to be - walking through woods or splashing in lakes looking for golf balls.

Carefree on the golf course is different. Carefree occurs when my focus is invested in the discussions with the friends, the focus on the color of green in the early spring, the beauty of soaking in blue skies, the taste of cold-beer, and the love of being outside – those experiences are free of care. Well, what was I caring about, anyway? I tend to care about what other’s would think and I care for scores on scorecards, so other’s might think positively of my mad golf skills. When I make a shift- and my focus transcends the score card and those opinions of other painfully average golfers, that’s when the purity of the golf swing comes out. The effortlessness of the game rears its head and a long drive, the pressure to achieve a great approach, and an amazing putt is no longer my focus, yet they happen. They happen because I release that care, exchange it for a focus on the other beauty around me - and that shift from careful to carefree, leads me to the very result I wanted in the first place, doesn’t it?

If golf isn’t your jam- then we can apply this with work, too. If I am careful about making decisions that could impact my businesses and I overthink and delay action – the very result is one I don’t want. Conversely- when I’m thinking of the business not about the business and when I’m thinking about the people, the clients, the partnerships (not only the numbers, the wins, the profits) – my decision making is swift and results lead to the numbers, the wins, and the profits.

Being carefree moves a person to the results they want, and moves them there without anxiety, edge, and pressure.

We live in a world that has been conditioned to be careful, so I’m curious to learn about some of the behaviors you use to be carefree versus careful. And- does being carefree create more peace and productivity for you?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.