It’s been 15 months since I engaged in my writing routine. That routine is simple because it involves paying close attention to the thoughts that race in my mind, dumping those thoughts in a journal and then, sometimes, one of those thoughts just feels right, so I write about it more formally and leave it on my blog for others to experience. I’ve been blessed with a mind that loves to be curious, so most weeks- something hits me hard enough to feel like sharing, but I haven’t felt like myself for a while.
It’s not that I haven’t had ample thoughts over the last year, but I have lacked inspiration. My last post, February of 2023, spilled out the emotional experience of standing by and watching my boys face off with their time in East Lansing, Michigan as the campus was under lock down because of a shooter who callously and in the ultimate form of cowardice ended innocent lives then ended his own. Candidly, things hadn’t felt too inspirational following that experience. But this too shall pass, right?
March of 2023 kicked off another chaotic time, because the day-time career I’ve chosen deals with careers: the starting of; the changing of; the ending of. And I had to learn how to balance emotions because (along with my team) we impacted 327 careers due to the downturn of our economy and the struggled performance of our business. Things continued to feel less than inspirational. But this too shall pass, right?
The new year, 2024, began with the skip of a heartbeat, literally. And then it skipped again and again, and the diagnosis was Atrial Fibrillation, which led to some additional testing and after a few months and some echocardiograms, cardiac MRIs, new medicine, heartrate monitors, sleep apnea tests, a cardiac ablation surgery and one bad run in with a bread knife - we concluded that I’d also get the honor of learning about Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. HCM is a genetic heart disease and I have it. So…let’s keep the less than inspirational feelings rolling, right? Oh wait, this too shall pass.
Now – here’s the thought stream that led me to writing again. Remember a long time ago, people used to say that sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you. Remember that? They’re right. And here is a different outlook that I’ve decided to embrace.
It’s been 15 months since my last article, because I needed to learn several things about myself, so that I could wake – this morning – and remind people that no matter how fucked up life might feel - the sun still shines, trees are still beautiful, and life is an amazing adventure.
Impacting 327 lives taught me how to deliver horrible news with love and compassion. I know that receiving that news might not allow those who received it to feel that it was delivered with love and compassion, so I’d ask them to trust that it was, and to reflect on where they are now, and could that change they had forced upon them been the long-term betterment that their lives were ready for?
That skip of a heartbeat led me to incredible doctors and nurses, discussions with friends and family, and it gave me perspective on the number of people who have had tougher diagnosis and more brutal endings to their experiences than I have had, so I’ve learned gratitude from the very middle-aged feeling kick-off to 2024.
Sticks and stones may break your bones and names may never kill you, but sometimes words can stain the soul – just a bit - and if we let those stains multiply, life may feel darker than it needs to, so when I think about these last 15 months and what they have taught me – they taught me to embrace resilience (I’m resilient as hell and I trust you are too). I learned that I could choose love and optimism and I also learned that sometimes people need some time of their own to wrestle with (and to be pissed and scared) before we are ready to jump back into the beauty of “what could be”.
So, after all of these experiences – God did it again, He gave me opportunities to embrace and demonstrate all of the feelings we’re capable of – and for that (and for Him), I’m eternally grateful.
God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times of chaos.
Much love- Trav
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