Shepherds and Farmers and Writers - Oh my.

I want to make being curious cool again. My definition of curiosity assumes: the more we want to know something, the more we’re willing to read about something, and then we explore it, try it, and then – we feel more connected to the decision regarding whether we would want to continue learning and experiencing the very thing that tipped our curiosity. Makes sense?

Let me give you an example – FARMING. I loved the show Little House on the Prairie  – I just re-watched every episode of its 7-year run from the 70’s and 80’s. I was curious about farming because the show portrays smiles and heart-warming family moments tied to the simplicity of the small town and farming community lifestyle. The show juxtaposes those moments with the chaos, pain, and suffering from the Hollywood created depiction of what the world was like in the late 19th century from the perspective of Laura Ingalls-Wilder’s journals and books. I began my desire to farm by watching a show, then I took the next step of truly knowing what it would be like to farm – I got a community garden plot (actually, I got three of them). You heard me right, my foray into farming started with a church garden plot and I fully expect anyone who farms to begin cursing me right now. I deserve that.

Weeding, irrigating, planning, planting, weeding, more weeding, cultivating, harvesting, weeding – shit was insane. I read about it, explored it, tried it, and I felt way more connected to why I’m NOT interested in having my own farm. No joke, huge respect for those who do, because I pulled enough peppers, tomatoes, and potatoes to- only feed 5 people roughly three meals and that was only season 1 (my wife and mother-in-law are still practicing their farming skills on a part time basis).

All fun aside – I saw something, I tried something, I learned a ton, and I decided that I’m not willing to keep doing it. That’s the circle and power of curiosity and it can leads to new things and it can guide your decision making with real experiences.

How does this tie to being a Shepherd? As parents of children who are bombarded with idea after idea about being an entrepreneurs, social media influencers, making a million dollars a year within 4-years of high school (which too many Instagram Reels creators claim) – it’s tough to navigate the “what do I do with my life” questions, isn’t it? In contrast to those who are saying some of these insanely unrealistic timelines and topics for our children’s lives, I say we turn this around and provide our children time to slow down and truly experience things before they are forced into choosing their life long career path (at 17 or 18 years old). Giving time as a shepherd, not as an engineer. Parents have been trapped into believing that they are here to engineer (create and mold – I disagree). I think we are here to shepherd them, to guide them, and to give them space to be curious, like a shepherd does to their flock. Here is where I tie these thoughts together- parents need to inspire two things, that could ease their pain and the pain of their children. Support more curiosity about life and increase the accountability within their children’s lives.

If your child wants to be an entrepreneur - learn from an entrepreneur. Yes, they teach entrepreneurial studies in college now, which I find that hilarious, because only a small percentage of the college professors I’ve met have been entrepreneurs. Very few found a gap in the market that their business idea could fill and then found a way to create, incorporate, manage, sell, and deliver on the product or service that fills that gap in the market. In short – how can we teach something we ourselves have never done? It would be no different than me asking you to pay for my class on farming. This is where the shepherding parent style comes to life. Shepherd your future entrepreneur to meet with someone who has taken an idea and brought it to life, filled a gap in the market, and earned a living from that work – this will give them so much valuable information. And we could exchange entrepreneur with: doctor; lawyer; accountant; real-estate sales; car sales; nursing – you name it. Regardless of what your child wants to do to earn a living in their future, shepherd them to start a lemonade stand or meet with an actual entrepreneur. They can meet with a doctor, lawyer, accountant, HVAC tech, Carpenter, Construction Company owner and allow their curiosity to be satiated by those who have done what they want to do. And then shepherd them to try the work they learned about (volunteer, internship, summer job). If they explore it, and then experience how that work feels, they’ll make better decisions about their passion for being an entrepreneur or an accountant. The most important ingredient to this shepherding recipe, please hold them accountable for doing these steps, for being curious and being willing to explore.

I think a lack of curiosity coupled with a real fear of failure is a bad combination for their futures and it’s this combination that has led so many to the record levels of diagnosed anxiety by this up-and-coming generation. They report feeling that perfection is an attainable goal (it’s not), they feel that if they don’t achieve perfection then maybe the thing they were curious about isn’t worth trying. How do I know this? I ask them. I’ve met with 500+ high school and college students over the last two years and they all say something similar: that fear of failure is more real than ever.

Shepherds – how do we turn this into a positive? Let them fail, hold them accountable for getting up when they do, and empower them with love and care, so that they know that it is normal to want to be a farmer. If farming is their jam, then shepherd them to get three community garden plots, allow them to experience the farming of a 30-foot by 30-foot piece of this earth, feed 5 people a couple of meals, and then they might know that farming is for them or they might do what I did – retire from farming. And making decisions based on experience is the best version of okay.

We can let the farmers farm and I’m going to stick with writing.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times on this planet.

Much love- Trav

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Paperclip Thinking delivers career, life, and leadership advice (based on real life experiences). If you ever want to explore becoming a Paperclip Thinker, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) or if you want some good content – follow on Facebook and Instagram: @paperclipthinking

It's Your Fault.

It’s your fault.

They say that all lives have a series of cross-roads. A point in time where the world shifts and your path heads in a direction that you may or may not have anticipated. Your mom and I planned this path, as best we could, but can you really “plan” anything? Upon your arrival – the path was cemented. I spent almost two months sleeping on a chair with you on my chest and had to be reminded that we bought a crib for you to sleep in. Nonsense – it felt better with you close to me. You were so tiny, and I was sure about one thing: having zero idea of what I was doing. Everything was a first for you (and for us). We learned how to do this whole parent/child thing, together. You might not feel it, but you have been my teacher longer than I have been yours. Thank you for your patience as I learned and for the grace you give me for the things I’ve screwed up. You grew into a toddler, then off to school, then off to college, and now – off to your life’s journey. You are passionate, intense, intelligent, caring, and loyal.

It's your fault.

I just mentioned that we had this path planned out, so when we learned that you were joining the party – we knew what to do. Less scared about what this was going to be like and more excited about introducing you to the world. There I go again, making assumptions, and waiting for the universe to remind me that we can plan for nothing. The first tests gave us all the reasons to go back to being scared about what could be. Syndromes, surgeries, and all the things that would make us wonder what we were going to do. I guess we always knew, regardless, it was a simple ask – we’d love you fiercely and have faith that all would work out. Your surgeries were painful (more for you than me), but your endurance is what shined. You were given a gift of patience and you embraced the power of calm (at such a young age). Everything from school to athletics to friendships were second nature to you. You grew into a toddler, then off to school, then off to college, and now – you prep for internships and the back half of your collegiate career. You are disciplined, driven, thoughtful, and intelligent.

It’s your fault.

By the time you arrived, we were already exhausted from practices, games, clubs, and family commitments. Even though we’d been through this two times before, I’m dumb enough to continue thinking that we’d be able to figure this out – after all, third time’s the charm. This is where the universe does its thing, again. You arrived. I knew what it was like to have two boys, so when the doctors announced, “it’s a girl” – I let out a different kind of cry. You’re my baby and my daughter and you’re also the one who had to deal with being dragged to event after event, less posed pictures, more independence thrust upon you and  you know what – you remedied our exhaustion and gave us the energy for a whole new adventure and you gave me a new title – Girl Dad (like Girl Math, right?!?). You were the perfect mix to complete our family. Your independence is insane. Your discipline, too. Skating, horses, friends, amazing grades. You grew into a toddler, then off to school, now off to Senior Year in High School and then – your path awaits its choosing.

What you all have in common – is my path is your fault. My privilege of being able to be celebrated on Father’s Day is your fault. You have each impacted me in ways you’ll never quite understand and for that, I’m so blessed.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times on this planet.

Much love- Your Dad

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Paperclip Thinking delivers career, life, and leadership advice (based on real life experiences). If you ever want to explore becoming a Paperclip Thinker, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) or if you want some good content – follow on Facebook and Instagram: @paperclipthinking

Sticks and Stones

It’s been 15 months since I engaged in my writing routine. That routine is simple because it involves paying close attention to the thoughts that race in my mind, dumping those thoughts in a journal and then, sometimes, one of those thoughts just feels right, so I write about it more formally and leave it on my blog for others to experience. I’ve been blessed with a mind that loves to be curious, so most weeks- something hits me hard enough to feel like sharing, but I haven’t felt like myself for a while.

 It’s not that I haven’t had ample thoughts over the last year, but I have lacked inspiration. My last post, February of 2023, spilled out the emotional experience of standing by and watching my boys face off with their time in East Lansing, Michigan as the campus was under lock down because of a shooter who callously and in the ultimate form of cowardice ended innocent lives then ended his own. Candidly, things hadn’t felt too inspirational following that experience. But this too shall pass, right?

March of 2023 kicked off another chaotic time, because the day-time career I’ve chosen deals with careers: the starting of; the changing of; the ending of. And I had to learn how to balance emotions because (along with my team) we impacted 327 careers due to the downturn of our economy and the struggled performance of our business. Things continued to feel less than inspirational. But this too shall pass, right?

The new year, 2024, began with the skip of a heartbeat, literally. And then it skipped again and again, and the diagnosis was Atrial Fibrillation, which led to some additional testing and after a few months and some echocardiograms, cardiac MRIs, new medicine, heartrate monitors, sleep apnea tests, a cardiac ablation surgery and one bad run in with a bread knife - we concluded that I’d also get the honor of learning about Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. HCM is a genetic heart disease and I have it. So…let’s keep the less than inspirational feelings rolling, right? Oh wait, this too shall pass.

Now – here’s the thought stream that led me to writing again. Remember a long time ago, people used to say that sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you. Remember that? They’re right. And here is a different outlook that I’ve decided to embrace.

It’s been 15 months since my last article, because I needed to learn several things about myself, so that I could wake – this morning – and remind people that no matter how fucked up life might feel - the sun still shines, trees are still beautiful, and life is an amazing adventure.

Impacting 327 lives taught me how to deliver horrible news with love and compassion. I know that receiving that news might not allow those who received it to feel that it was delivered with love and compassion, so I’d ask them to trust that it was, and to reflect on where they are now, and could that change they had forced upon them been the long-term betterment that their lives were ready for?

That skip of a heartbeat led me to incredible doctors and nurses, discussions with friends and family, and it gave me perspective on the number of people who have had tougher diagnosis and more brutal endings to their experiences than I have had, so I’ve learned gratitude from the very middle-aged feeling kick-off to 2024.

Sticks and stones may break your bones and names may never kill you, but sometimes words can stain the soul – just a bit - and if we let those stains multiply, life may feel darker than it needs to, so when I think about these last 15 months and what they have taught me – they taught me to embrace resilience (I’m resilient as hell and I trust you are too). I learned that I could choose love and optimism and I also learned that sometimes people need some time of their own to wrestle with (and to be pissed and scared) before we are ready to jump back into the beauty of “what could be”.

So, after all of these experiences – God did it again, He gave me opportunities to embrace and demonstrate all of the feelings we’re capable of – and for that (and for Him), I’m eternally grateful.

God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times of chaos.

Much love- Trav

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Paperclip Thinking delivers career, life, and leadership advice (based on real life experiences). If you ever want to explore becoming a Paperclip Thinker, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) or if you want some good content – follow on Facebook and Instagram: @paperclipthinking

Gifts.

We receive them for birthdays, baptisms, during the holidays, for retirements and a host of other occasions, don’t we? Gifts play an interesting role in my life – how about yours? I’ve always enjoyed the planning that can come along with gift giving… thinking about what could be given to express appreciation, love – you know the drill.

November is the month of “giving thanks” in the United States and it is also the month when my wife and I celebrate our birthdays (November 24th for her – November 29th for me). This time of the year is always my favorite – not because of my birthday (or hers) – although birthdays are still crazy fun. It’s my favorite because there is a lifted spirit in the air and people seem to embrace the energy that comes with gratitude and giving – it’s infectious and uplifting.

So… as I think about gifts for my teammates at work, for my wife on her birthday, for my friends and family during the Christmas season – I also spent some time this week and thought about what I want for my 49th birthday. As I figured it out – I started to wonder if this gift idea might also be good for all of you, this year.

It’s the gift of turning the page. The gift of respecting the learnings from the past and embracing an intentional focus on today and the future. It’s a gift of self-love, so that we can become the truest versions of ourselves, which in turn creates such a good experience for those around us. I’ve been working, since 2008, to surrender to the reality that I’m doing the absolute best I can, while still enjoying my time on earth. I’m learning and growing daily – and I know you are too, even if you don’t feel it or believe as you read this. You all deserve love, honor, respect, care, compassion, adventure, peace, and the growth that comes from the daily work you put into your life.

The ultimate gift, from my perspective, is giving love to yourself, so that you can rain that beautiful energy on everyone and everything around you. That’s what I’m giving myself this year and for the rest of the years that I’m blessed to be on this planet. I wish the same for all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving and love is on its way to you now…

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

Inspiration.

It can become easy to lose yourself in the world we live in. It’s also been easy, for me, to forget the actions and the experiences that are at my core and the very things that create inspiration in my life. How do I “lose” myself? Well…I spend my time shuffling, moving, picking up, dropping off, traveling in, traveling out, meeting, presenting, watching, planning, thinking, caring, questioning. That’s how. Where do you spend most of your time, these days? How do you remain connected to what inspires you at a core level?

I’m a proponent of growth, evolution, care, compassion, intrigue, romance, and intimacy. When looking back, these are common denominators of the experiences and actions in my life that have created such positive energy. This energy has led to activity and that activity has led to a successful career, fatherhood, friendships, and deep relationships. Any time I find myself in a funk – when I take the time to reflect and look in the mirror - I find that I’m steering away from what inspires me. When I work to reconnect with my growth, my evolution, the care I offer others, my levels of compassion, my intrigue about people, places, and things, the romance in my life and the intimacy I connect to – this is when my adventures on this planet feel most exhilarating.

 Regardless of how busy we might become, how many children we choose to have, how much money we plan to earn, how many places we want to see on this planet … if those actions aren’t rooted in what inspires you, I think you’ll find that they can start to feel hollow. Give yourself time to breath, give yourself time to reflect, give yourself time to remember the things that inspired you to be you. Do. Those. Things.

A good friend told me this last night, “it’s the collision of passion, love, and intrigue that makes this life on Earth so mesmerizing” ...

Thoughts?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

What If?

Is it possible to live in faith and in fear, simultaneously? I don’t think you can. I think, buried deep in our human subconscious, are the experiences that led us down one of these two paths (core faith or core fear) and it’s understandable how this occurs, after all, the logic and science that has been shared suggests that fear is present to “protect us”. Back in the day, when we were out “hunting or gathering”, then a saber-tooth tiger pops around the corner…fear inserts itself and I would get out of the way of the saber-tooth tiger (with significant increase in blood-pressure and heart rate). It’s logical and biological that fear, under the veil of protection, is there to keep us safe.

Now- what happens if the saber-tooth tigers are all gone, yet we continue to feed our own fear? Feed it with worry, anxiety, and overthinking? Fear is contagious and it can grow and spread, quickly. Especially if you feed it and water it – as our society appears to be doing at a feverish pace. Anxiety, depression, hate (all byproducts of fear, from my perspective) …seem to be at all-time highs, so what if?

What if we stopped feeding it and watering it? What if we exchanged fear with faith? The faith that empowers us to reconnect to the belief of “the path we’re on is exactly where we are to be, now, today, right here”. Faith in the construct that life is happening for us, not too us, and everything from the best of days to the worst of days all share something powerful in common…a lesson that can be used to learn and grow. What if our world embraced faith more than fear? Could things be healthier for all of us?

Let me know what you think?

The "why" and "how" behind The Venue

I haven’t posted on this blog since February 11, 2021 and here’s why - I’ve been focused, maybe pre-occupied is a better description, with sending books out into the world, attempting to expand my weekends to include branding my work into a Social Education Platform called the Divergent Thinking Academy for elementary, middle and high schools, and I’m still supporting my teams at TrueBlue with a job I love. Why do all of this? I’d love to say it was for the passion of the work, yet that would be a lie. I’ve been swept into the world of “have to” – you know… “I have to do this” or “I have to do that” because that’s what successful people do – they hustle. The problem is…all of the hustling and the pulling in different directions has created an interesting disconnect to something I hold near and dear to my heart - “having fun”. I love to write. I’m interested in supporting anyone who wants some guidance through life. And Paperclip Thinking and the pillars that make up this thinking continue to shape me in the coolest ways and remain a huge part of who I am and who I’m becoming. For five years I’ve been pre-occupied with “building a business” and my focus had been on growth and expansion. I thought this focus was the proper thing to do and I assumed that this multi-pronged focus would lead me down the path of recognition and money.

Reality check - some of this “business stuff” took the fun out of “why” I do what I do. When the fun & learning stops, I think it’s important to reflect and can be more important to pivot. I’m testing the hypothesis that if we remain focused on our “why” and we spend time supporting others, maybe the other stuff (growth, expansion, etc.) becomes a by-product for the future. I’m shifting my pre-occupation with “build and grow” to a more aligned value system of, “share and guide”. It’s a subtle shift, for me, yet the impact is huge on my well-being. I love a good discussion. I love vulnerable topics. I love the idea of people not feeling “alone” on this planet and I love sharing what I’ve learned on my life’s journey (so others might be able to experience their journey with some additional guidance and perspective and a few less fuck-ups). This is my focus and my “why”.

The “how” is connected to my ability to share and guide through a discussion club called “The Venue”. This discussion club meets every other Wednesday (you can DM me on Instagram, send me a note through FB Messenger, or you can email me to join The Venue’s community). These sessions are one hour long, cost you nothing, and include a mix of people from all corners of the country, ages 14+ are welcome and during our discussions I facilitate a couple of things: 1) I bring forward topics that all of us think about yet very few discuss on a regular basis; 2) our attendees share “ultimate life hacks” for career preparation, personal growth, and life transitions (i.e. learnings from moving from middle school to high school, deciding if college is or isn’t for you, selecting a major if you are in college, choosing a career that you will love and prosper doing, ways to remain balanced in our crazy world, how to build and leverage a network, methods for navigating anxiety and stress, how to change careers later in life…just to name a few of our recent topics); and 3) our community shares all of its knowledge and experiences in a safe environment. Some join to share and some join to listen…some do both. We use Zoom, so you can pop into a session from anywhere.

Please follow @paperclipthinking on Instagram and Facebook. These are two of the platforms where I share content most frequently and I’d be honored if you’d join us as we spread the message of this unique kind of “Paperclip Thinking” and how being divergent in thought can positively impact life.

Following each session of The Venue I’ll be sharing the takeaways from our group discussion on The Paperclip Thinking Blog. If you miss a session – don’t worry – you can subscribe to the blog and learn on your own time and at your own pace:  www.paperclipthinking.com/blog

I hope to hear from you soon and know that from here forward… I’ll be focused on, “changing the world…one discussion at a time”. I hope you’ll consider joining the discussion!

Contact: travis@paperclipthinking.com with any questions. Love y’all.

Step-Through NOT Breakthrough

Let’s rename breakthroughs and call them step-throughs!  If you are anything like me, you’ve experienced tons of these beautiful moments in life, so I’m curious to understand why we continue to call them breakthroughs?

The idea of breaking something feels accidental, unintentional, and the idea also feels heavy and frustrating- I don’t like to break things.  I have broken things in my home, broken things in stores, and I’ve even broken relationships and partnerships, and none of the “breaking” felt good, so during a recent coaching conversation, I made the decision to refrain from using breakthroughs and I’m re-purposing them to step-throughs, here’s why:

Step-throughs feel purpose driven and in my experiences, these moments of stepping through to a new way of thinking can be frequent and they are rooted in action.  Step throughs are a choice!  Inviting someone to share in a powerful conversation, bringing a new idea to a team, or coming to an agreement on a new way to solve a business or life challenge are all examples of ways to generate a step-through.

What sits on the other side of a step-through?

I continue to realize balance, health, innovation, revenue, income and fun through my step-throughs and the most beautiful part is that everyone has access to this way of thinking & living, so let’s choose to step-through versus breakthrough, together.