I want to make being curious cool again. My definition of curiosity assumes: the more we want to know something, the more we’re willing to read about something, and then we explore it, try it, and then – we feel more connected to the decision regarding whether we would want to continue learning and experiencing the very thing that tipped our curiosity. Makes sense?
Let me give you an example – FARMING. I loved the show Little House on the Prairie – I just re-watched every episode of its 7-year run from the 70’s and 80’s. I was curious about farming because the show portrays smiles and heart-warming family moments tied to the simplicity of the small town and farming community lifestyle. The show juxtaposes those moments with the chaos, pain, and suffering from the Hollywood created depiction of what the world was like in the late 19th century from the perspective of Laura Ingalls-Wilder’s journals and books. I began my desire to farm by watching a show, then I took the next step of truly knowing what it would be like to farm – I got a community garden plot (actually, I got three of them). You heard me right, my foray into farming started with a church garden plot and I fully expect anyone who farms to begin cursing me right now. I deserve that.
Weeding, irrigating, planning, planting, weeding, more weeding, cultivating, harvesting, weeding – shit was insane. I read about it, explored it, tried it, and I felt way more connected to why I’m NOT interested in having my own farm. No joke, huge respect for those who do, because I pulled enough peppers, tomatoes, and potatoes to- only feed 5 people roughly three meals and that was only season 1 (my wife and mother-in-law are still practicing their farming skills on a part time basis).
All fun aside – I saw something, I tried something, I learned a ton, and I decided that I’m not willing to keep doing it. That’s the circle and power of curiosity and it can leads to new things and it can guide your decision making with real experiences.
How does this tie to being a Shepherd? As parents of children who are bombarded with idea after idea about being an entrepreneurs, social media influencers, making a million dollars a year within 4-years of high school (which too many Instagram Reels creators claim) – it’s tough to navigate the “what do I do with my life” questions, isn’t it? In contrast to those who are saying some of these insanely unrealistic timelines and topics for our children’s lives, I say we turn this around and provide our children time to slow down and truly experience things before they are forced into choosing their life long career path (at 17 or 18 years old). Giving time as a shepherd, not as an engineer. Parents have been trapped into believing that they are here to engineer (create and mold – I disagree). I think we are here to shepherd them, to guide them, and to give them space to be curious, like a shepherd does to their flock. Here is where I tie these thoughts together- parents need to inspire two things, that could ease their pain and the pain of their children. Support more curiosity about life and increase the accountability within their children’s lives.
If your child wants to be an entrepreneur - learn from an entrepreneur. Yes, they teach entrepreneurial studies in college now, which I find that hilarious, because only a small percentage of the college professors I’ve met have been entrepreneurs. Very few found a gap in the market that their business idea could fill and then found a way to create, incorporate, manage, sell, and deliver on the product or service that fills that gap in the market. In short – how can we teach something we ourselves have never done? It would be no different than me asking you to pay for my class on farming. This is where the shepherding parent style comes to life. Shepherd your future entrepreneur to meet with someone who has taken an idea and brought it to life, filled a gap in the market, and earned a living from that work – this will give them so much valuable information. And we could exchange entrepreneur with: doctor; lawyer; accountant; real-estate sales; car sales; nursing – you name it. Regardless of what your child wants to do to earn a living in their future, shepherd them to start a lemonade stand or meet with an actual entrepreneur. They can meet with a doctor, lawyer, accountant, HVAC tech, Carpenter, Construction Company owner and allow their curiosity to be satiated by those who have done what they want to do. And then shepherd them to try the work they learned about (volunteer, internship, summer job). If they explore it, and then experience how that work feels, they’ll make better decisions about their passion for being an entrepreneur or an accountant. The most important ingredient to this shepherding recipe, please hold them accountable for doing these steps, for being curious and being willing to explore.
I think a lack of curiosity coupled with a real fear of failure is a bad combination for their futures and it’s this combination that has led so many to the record levels of diagnosed anxiety by this up-and-coming generation. They report feeling that perfection is an attainable goal (it’s not), they feel that if they don’t achieve perfection then maybe the thing they were curious about isn’t worth trying. How do I know this? I ask them. I’ve met with 500+ high school and college students over the last two years and they all say something similar: that fear of failure is more real than ever.
Shepherds – how do we turn this into a positive? Let them fail, hold them accountable for getting up when they do, and empower them with love and care, so that they know that it is normal to want to be a farmer. If farming is their jam, then shepherd them to get three community garden plots, allow them to experience the farming of a 30-foot by 30-foot piece of this earth, feed 5 people a couple of meals, and then they might know that farming is for them or they might do what I did – retire from farming. And making decisions based on experience is the best version of okay.
We can let the farmers farm and I’m going to stick with writing.
God bless all of you- and may He send peace to you during your times on this planet.
Much love- Trav
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