Paperclip Thinking: A ten-year journey to my first book and business…
In October of 2008 I began journaling. I journaled as a coping mechanism at first, and as my journaling became more frequent, I began writing as a means to share and express how I was feeling about life (secretly searching for others who might have felt the same way). In 2009 I realized that the content I was sharing was adding value in my life and to the lives of others, and that felt good.
Writing became a way to clear my head after spending too much of my life listening to that voice that told me, “I wasn’t enough” and “I wasn’t adding value in the world”. At that time in my life, the only way I knew to quiet that noise was to choose behaviors that numbed the voice. This subsequently moved me farther and farther from any recognizable chance for peace in my life.
My health (physically and mentally) was deteriorating and yet, I was able to keep a fairly strong outward appearance and I became a master at camouflaging my own misery, by wrapping it in bravado, know it all attitudes, party guy fun, and this most certainly did not feel good.
Trying to look good, not feel good led to a painful process of me losing myself and then choosing to mask that pain. It was at this time in my life (2009) that the universe introduced me to something that I hadn’t expected, my coach. We met through a work function and I chose to partner with her as she had lived similar challenges in her life and she had embraced different ways and perspectives of seeing life.
As I embarked on the early stages of my coaching process (2010-2012), I noticed something about my writing. The journaling was showing growth and change and I was finding an intense solace with my perceived evolution. The pain from decades of living in fear didn’t simply vanish, although I was able to see life differently and adjust some of my behaviors, so I could be more impactful as a father, husband, employee, and citizen. This process led me to answer the most important question I’ve ever answered… “What do I value of myself?” and the answers to that question supported what I valued, so I could begin choosing what I wanted for my life. I value:
· My willingness to be vulnerable
· My willingness to be transparent
· My enjoyment from seeing opportunities to add value and connecting people to those opportunities
· My enjoyment of the process of introspection and how introspection can impact lives and businesses.
· My compassion for people
· My love of storytelling
These are the elements of “me” and what I value of myself. They now fuel me to ask others what they value of themselves and this question has empowered some amazing discussions.
With all of this energy, in December of 2016 I declared that I was a coach and that Paperclip Thinking (the business shell for my services) was launched. And then…nothing happened. Shit! Where were all of the clients? Why wasn’t this message being spread? How much money would I make?
I had become very attached to the idea of this business and I wasn’t really doing anything with the business. I became nervous and scared about whether this message would add value. I couldn’t answer people’s questions (as recent as January 2017) about who I was coaching and how that coaching added value to other people. I was being impatient and I was being fear based. All of this negative energy led me to hide out and talk about coaching, but not live the principles I coach. That didn’t work well.
I was starting to panic in the middle of 2017 and I found myself withdrawing from some of my own principles. I decided to do something different. I detached from all of it. I detached from the idea that in order to be a coach, I must have a business. I detached from the idea that having a business meant I must have hundreds of thousands of dollars, every year. I acknowledged the fact that I didn’t create these principles, they were shared with me and I have a responsibility to share them with other people.
I detached from the idea that a coach must charge thousands of dollars per hour to be a coach and I returned to the principles I coach. If I wanted to be a coach:
· What did I value of myself and do those things align with my coaching? – Yes.
· Was I willing to explore why I was feeling so attached (fear of failure)? – Yes.
· Was I willing to be vulnerable and transparent? – Yes.
· Was I willing to be intentional with the messages I send out to the universe about my health, my peace, my wants, and my care for those I come in contact with, so I could live what I was coaching? - Yes.
This detachment from the look good, supported me in doing the very thing I wanted. I answered the questions above and then, something cool happened. The first paying client appeared, then the first referral. Clients two, three, and four followed, and my first corporate client came to fruition (last week). Paperclip Thinking was launched in December of 2016, but it became a reality in November of 2017 because I let go of caring about how the business looked and I focused on supporting others with how they impact change in their lives. I’ve become a coach.
This process, which began in 2008, has sparked my interest in creating my first book. I’ve utilized the information and stories from my journals as the content and the book, Happiness is Over There, is scheduled to launch by the end of the year. What I’ve learned this year is very simple. Instead of talking about being a writer, I wrote. Instead of talking about being a coach, I coached.
Recognizing intentions for life and realizing change is a choice and it’s rooted in action. I’m excited about how I can support others with the change they want and I’ll do more with the blog to keep readers updated through 2018. I’m feeling blessed to do something I love, each day, so thanks to all of you who played a part in supporting this journey.
